Sunday, November 28, 2010

Reflection #14

The timing of Horizons in the semester could not have been more perfect; as I read of Ahni's trials and tribulations on Earth and beyond its atmosphere, I recognized the parallels between the characters' experiences and my own. The feeling of marginalization, or simply of difference, resonated profoundly as I made the nine-hour journey back to Massachusetts via bus, then train, and finally by car. To say that I was anxious would be a gross understatement; the day I left campus with my suitcase, the day that I arrived in Westfield after three and a half months of preoccupied distance, did not pass as quickly as I had hoped as I squirmed in my bus seat and nearly flattened everyone in my path through Grand Central. In retrospect, my agitation was due to my curiosity of what waited for me beyond campus, of what I had left behind and would find again in my hometown. I wondered if things would be as effortless and natural with my friends that I've shared everything with since the third grade, but who I've lived apart from since mid-August. I wondered if I would feel out of place sitting in my solitary bedroom or at an actual table in a non-TDR setting. These were thoughts that plagued my mind as I tried to concentrate on Horizons. My chief concern continually revolved around the concept of then and now, here and there. And I believe that is one of the motifs that haunts the pages of Mary Rosenblum's novel. Ahni, and humanity itself, struggles to preserve the familiar traditions of the past (life on Earth, familial ties, definitions of human) and embrace the progress promised by the future (life on the Platforms, new acquaintances, who is entitled to the parameters of humanity). As college freshmen, we confront the same tension, especially at this time of year when our worries are amplified by final exams and the ghosts of times past that visit us during breaks from school. I'm not certain how to effectively settle this disparity between old and new, or if it is supposed to be managed at all. Until then, I will search for the way to properly integrate both aspects of my life into the present, to cherish both the here and there as components of my here and now.

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